Frank's film tip: Chris Kattan needs to sleep with the fish in the moronic comedy Corky Romano, a dim-witted offer movie audiences should refuse!
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Well, just as one would expect the sun to rise after a good night's sleep, we are blessed with yet another "Saturday Night Live" alum testing the moviemaking waters. And predictably, watching them drown in the process. In this latest attempt to get a SNL personality to showcase their tiresome shtick on the big screen, we have the notable presence of plastic-faced pipsqueak Chris Kattan starring in the mindless mob comedy "Corky Romano". Kattan, no stranger to appearing in SNL-related derivative duds (remember the painfully unfunny "A Night at the Roxbury"?), struts around and gets to act silly in this futile farce. As scattering and graceless like a bunch of sprayed bullets from an uncontrollable machine gun, Corky Romano shoots off its aimless, punishingly garish antics in all different directions. The film is merely a myopic footnote that cannot match its own nonsensical raucous tone. Despite this movie's chaotic energy and carefree stupidity, Corky Romano manages to muster up unoriginal cheap laughs that support the stale sight gags. Extraneous and feeble-minded, this vehicle passes through you like spoiled Ziti settling in your stomach.

Kattan is Corky Romano, a clumsy veterinarian-in-waiting who was previously ousted by his unforgiving crime family. You see, good ol' Corky was an oddball who couldn't live up to his nortorious family name. Corky is, among other things, quite naive and misinformed and never really knew the family "business". In any event, his distance from the Romano family will prove to be very invaluable. Soon, the hapless Corkster will trade in his black sheep status for that of a sacrificial lamb. At the urging of his estranged kin folks, Corky is asked back to test the theory as to whether blood is thicker than water.

Romano crime family patriarch Pops (Peter Falk) is on his last legs as his health deteriorates. And what's worst, the feds are about to indict him on countless criminal charges. With a trail coming up and Pops feeling as lopsided as this film's joyless script, the felonious clan try to convince doofus Corky to assist them with this pending dilemma. Pops Romano, with the assistance o fhis other lunkheaded sons Paulie and Peter (Peter Berg and Chris Penn), hatch a plan where Corky is to infiltrate the FBI and get close enough to the damaging evidence against the family so he can destroy it. With that logic in mind, the lack of sufficient info would force the authorities to lay off the Romanos. Thus, the criminal activities can continue and this baleful bunch can prosper once again without further scrutiny.

Corky Romano is nothing more than another one of those hyperactive, brainless fast food comedies that is meant to be excitable and shamelessly dumb. The appeal here is to be absolutely absurd. Director Rob Pritts simply toils away at creating this half-baked premise
by incorporating many zany contrivances that are gasping and flavorless. For a sprawling comedy such as Corky Romano, you would expect the film to meet its challenge at being over-the-top. Instead, star Kattan parades around in this cluttered comedy by talking in high pitch voices and dressing up in ridiculous disguises. Having Kattan don a girl scout outfit, recklessly blow up an unsuspecting building, or accidentally get himself and a drug-sniffing canine high on a confiscated bag of cocaine all seems rather sluggish and desperately faltering. In sketch comedic situations, Kattan is ascream when he assumes his SNL personas. But on the big screen, his Corky character is not designed for a feature length film but for a three minute skit. That's the problem with most of these films that house current and ex SNLers...their bits don't translate into viable material that can sustain a 90-plus minute movie. Just refer to the previous casualties such as Tim Meadows's "The Ladies Man", Molly Shannon's "Superstar", or Julia Sweeney's "It's Pat"...just to name a few.

The movie's computer-generated look appears shoddy and that's not an encouraging sign in an age where cinema is expected to be competent in this area. It's as if the filmmakers were blatantly indifferent regarding the special effects. If you are trying to deliver a so-called rambunctious flick, then don't you think that the computer graphics should live up to the wacky expectations of the film's throbbing pulse? And the supporting players in this picture aren't particularly memorable or essential in terms of adding anything spunky. Richard Roundtree gets "shaft"-ed playing Corky Romano's boss Shuster and prototypical rival agent Davis (Matthew Glave) is not all that intriguing either. And the gimmicky casting of Vincent Patore (from TV's "The Sopranos") as a relative out to oversee Corky's critters feels like an empty-headed ploy. Overall, the comedic flow of Corky Romano has all the precision of a botched mob hit.

Suffice to say, this awkward and unpalatable cinematic assault won't be the last of its kind. As long as you have eager beaver SNL players waiting to lick their chops by taking on the big screen stardom, expect more of the same kind of miscalculations. Wonder if Goat Boy or the Church Lady are looking at any scripts yet? I know...let's not give Hollywood any more brain-dead ideas!

Frank rates this film: * 1/2 stars (out of 4 stars)

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