Critic's Grade: F

Just when I though I'd seen Madonna at her worst in "Body of Evidence," I happened upon one of her earlier roles in "Shanghai Surprise," which takes filmmaking to one of those rare all-time lows. I've seen direct-to-video tripe that looked better than this, and it's no great consolation knowing that this was one of the Material Girl's first film ventures, considering she hasn't gotten much better since then. She plays missionary nurse Gloria Tatlock, whose presence in China involves the search and seizure of a sizeable amount of opium for her patients. No sooner has she arrived than she crosses paths with Glendon Wasey (Sean Penn), who's looking for a quick ticket out of the country on someone else's dime. Figuring they can help each other in the long run, they go on the hunt for the stolen narcotics, only to realize they're not the only ones with an interest in the goods.

Before you read on, close your eyes and try to imagine Madonna as a nurse, much less a missionary. It doesn't work, does it? That's how truly bad she is here: coupled with the undernourished characterization at the hands of writers John Kohn and Robert Bentley, she just can't seem to make us believe anything about the role. She doesn't have much of a co-star in Sena Penn, either, whose mawkish, whiny tantrums are so unconvincing that they beg to be parodied. The dialogue and its delivery is stilted and cardboard flat, and TV director Jim Goddard's helming of the project is sorely in need of focus. This one's a surprise, yes, but only for its stunning awfulness.

Copyright @ Hauntnut.com

All Reviews by David Litton [Home page]
If you are the author of this review, you may edit it by signing in.