Critic's Grade: F

As a gay man, I wondered what exactly it was about "Boat Trip" that had the homosexual community in tight knickers even before its March 2003 theatrical release. Sure, the movie features hoards of flamers, queens, and raging **s (no offense intended) parading around in speedos, leather, and lots fashionable outfits; hell, there's even references to Bette "Ms. Divine" Midler, and the now-iconic gay theme song, "I Will Survive." But does it use any of this to its advantage? No. Does it make fun of gay people? Not really; the movie's not smart enough for that. In fact, the film isn't so much offensive as it is just plain bad. We're talking date-with-no-sex bad. Sex-without-climax bad. And that's just the first fifteen minutes.

This wretched vacation begins when Jerry (Cuba Gooding Jr.) gets dumped by his witchy-poo girlfriend (Vivica A. Fox) in the middle of a marriage proposal marred by projectile vomit (don't ask). After spending the next six months dwelling over his loss, Jerry pairs up with his best buddy Nick (Horatio Sanz), with a master plan to pick up women: go on a cruise, which means no easy method of escape for the other party involved. Their plans of fun in the sun, however, are dashed by a patented Hollywood calculated incident that lands them smack dab in the middle of (gasp!) a gay cruise, with not a woman in sight, and all the Toms, Dicks (insert giggle here) and Harrys you could ask for.

Amidst all the innuendo and jabs at the gay community, there lies one of the weakest comedy setups ever constructed in the history of cinema. That the movie expects us to believe that two heterosexual men would not recognize their surroundings before even boarding the boat is insulting. That Jerry pretends to be gay in order to get close to the ship's female dance instructor (Roselyn Sanchez) is expected, and expectedly boring. That Nick soon finds himself drawn to the gay community- so much so that he believes himself to be a homosexual- is just plain unconvincing, and downright desperate. If anything, "Boat Trip" suffers from an identity crisis of sorts: sure, the movie may have more gay men than a pride parade, but there's more boob shots to be found here than you would see in your average teen comedy.

The main problem here rests, of course, with the filmmakers. Writers William Bigelow and Mort Nathan, who also directs the film, pull not one original idea from their hats, not one amusing moment, and not one visible life-ring of humor or wit. The cast is even more disappointing, led by Cuba Gooding Jr. in a role that adds to his ever-growing Oscar revocation roster marked by such titles as "Snow Dogs" and "Chill Factor." Even with his and Horatio Sanz' enthusiasm put together, the laughs just don't come, although veteran actor Roger Moore makes another shameless cameo as an aging queen who provides the only scant chuckles to be found here. As it stands, he and everyone else ends up shipwrecked in a script riddled with flotsam and shallow waters. After watching "Boat Trip," I can think of nothing that could possibly liven up this laboriously dull getaway.

Copyright @ Hauntnut.com

All Reviews by David Litton [Home page]
If you are the author of this review, you may edit it by signing in.