Critic's Grade: C-

Frank's film tip: Steve Martin does the ditsy Dad bit once again as he oversees his impressionable brood of twelve in the lightweight and lukewarm family-friendly farce CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN

The tiresome examination of faltering fatherhood is the theme behind the formulaic thin comedy of director Shawn Levy's lukewarm laugher Cheaper by the Dozen. Based loosely on the 1950's movie that spawned this updated domestic dreck, Levy (Just Married) uneventfully helms a dysfunctional daddy-versus-the-unruly-kiddies vehicle that's about as comical as handling a soaking diaper. Veteran comic actors Steve Martin (channeling some of his poignant goofiness from his superior turn in Ron Howard's revealing and cozy film Parenthood) and Bonnie Hunt (currently playing the career Mom in her ABC-TV sitcom Life With Bonnie) spearhead the big screen rip-off Brady Bunch-like festivities. Levy hopes that audiences will bye into this kooky-coated tale as a family-friendly flick satirizing the relationship between parental authority and their wayward charges that convincingly outnumber them.

Some may grow kind of impatient and weary with the ubiquitous preoccupation of watching the hapless head of household male play the "fish-out-of-water" routine in trying to assume the control of the hectic and unruly brood at home while their better half seek out working arrangements elsewhere. It's an overused and flatly familiar premise that has been worked to death in the past successfully (i.e. Mr. Mom) and desperately failed recently within recent memory (the Eddie Murphy dud Daddy Day Care instantly comes to mind). If audiences wanted to lose themselves in the lame frivolity of a clueless Daddy Dearest prototype and his situational sitcom-y incompetence, wouldn't it have been more conveniently sensible to turn on the boob tube for this sort of borrowed watered down, harried high jinks? Geez, apparently not, huh? In essence, Cheaper by the Dozen is another disposable and quick-witted vehicle aimed at securing the generic feel good vibes for those begging for conveyor belt family fare that's syrupy and indistinguishable.

Illinois-based Tom and Kate Baker (Martin and Hunt) are saddled with an army of mouths to feed--12 offspring to be exact. But that's okay because the Bakers always fancied having a large family to loom over so in many ways they got their wish. Anyway, the Baker household will soon undergo some changes that will definitely affect their lives and put new demands on Papa Tom in particular. Currently living and spread out in the scenic countryside where the clan runs free, Tom and Kate decide to move their gang to the urban hustle and bustle of Chicago so that they both could pursue their dream jobs. (Tom was offered a position as the head football coach at his alma mater; Kate is following her path as a writer/journalist). In addition, the couple's eldest twentysomething daughter Nora (Piper Perabo) is breaking away from the family to live in Chicago with her ridiculously self-absorbed actor boyfriend Hank (Ashton Kutcher, Levy's put upon leading man from Just Married).

Once the Bakers get settled in the city, another unexpected change occurs when matriarch Kate is asked to go to New York when a lucrative book publishing deal is offered to her. Hence, poor Tom has no choice but to take on the juggling act of concentrating on his career while coping with the ups and downs of being a temporary single parent for his troops. The Baker children range from being in young adulthood to the little impressionable crumb-crushers that he must closely watch out for at all costs. Thus, let the awkward session begin where everybody involved let the chips fall where they may as the zany antics of fun-loving Tom Baker and his beloved bunch go through the transition of confronting the their new city lifestyle. In a matter of time, the Bakers, minus Mom's absence, will learn more about each other as a fragile but caring family unit going through the aches and pains of adjustment.

Cheaper by the Dozen certainly rings true with its penchant for stilted slapstick and the usual naughty sight gags that are expected to be explored (anyone cracking up over one kid falling in another kid's pool of vomit?). Plus, casting the likes of Martin in this wacky familial comedy caper where growing pains are equally experienced by confused grown-ups and the wayward children they both adore and gently scorn is somewhat suitable. However, Levy's pedestrian direction and the handful of screenwriters responsible for this substandard script cannot seem to elevate Martin's punchy playfulness beyond the staid and saccharine-stained material. There's more energy and spunkiness in an old TV rerun of the late seventies' dramedy Eight is Enough. The situational nutty exploits and physical comedy bits will net a chuckle here or there. Still, this doesn't override the fact that Levy's family-friendly farce is woefully uneven when it comes to trying to instill some heartfelt strokes into a mushy project that has all the cynicism of a toddler sticking his tongue out at his frustrated nanny at a local playground.

Unfortunately, Cheaper by the Dozen is a trivial excursion at best. One really shouldn't excuse its innocuous package of a ditzy Dad and his football team-sized family as an automatic charming and engaging concept of durable sentimentality. In fact, one would probably treasure and respect Levy's sappy portrait of domestic angst if the film took more liberties to expound on turmoil that was slightly grounded in reality and not so much in the tradition of some Disney-esque diatribe. It's remarkable how Levy and his collaborators hardly finger the emotional or financial struggles it would take to hold a huge family together in this day and age. One would think that there would be an urgency to take a look at the Bakers from an honest perspective of how it would be confining to get by as a large family in today's economic crunch. Instead, Levy is so afraid that his comedy won't register if it doesn't have that convincing dosage of the cutesy attached.

As the overwhelmed parents, both Martin and Hunt make for a photogenic couple and have the chemistry needed to lead this mediocre fluff into reasonable gear. It's too bad that the flabby and flimsy portion of the screenplay fails them on several occasions. Curiously, the film primarily focuses on the older Baker children and their baggage while leaving the younger tykes practically invisible in importance. Maybe because the elder Baker siblings are where the drawing power lies in order to corral in the targeted demographics intended. It's probably no mistake that the casting of heartthrobs with built-in followings such as the studly Tom Welling (from the WB-TV's immensely popular Smallville) and resident babe Hilary Duff (from cable TV's Lizzie McGuire series) was an essential and crowd-pleasing move. This, of course, was a shrewd effort to attract the film's core of young (but older) love struck moviegoers outside of the pre-teen set. Welling, playing the typical moody jock Charlie, strangely looks too old for the role to be playing the son of Martin and Hunt. And Duff's portrayal of a teenage daughter Lorraine hooked on a fashion sense when it comes to clothing is begrudgingly a run-of-the-mill and recycled characterization.

Levy does use his "flavor-of-the-month" media boytoy sensation Ashton Kutcher wisely by piling a hefty amount of the joking and ribbing on his shoulders as the movie zips along and conveniently uses his vain character as a favorable punching bag. Kutcher, much like his glamorous teen beat co-stars Welling and Duff, is the ideal bait needed to go fishing and reel in the box office bass. It's too bad that Kutcher outshines the film's intended youthful stars in Welling, Duff and Perabo--maybe Kutcher would have been adequate as one of the Baker's Dozen as opposed to being the buffoonish outsider that has to generously inject some of the film's few genuinely funny moments.

Although quirky and armed with the best of intentions, Cheaper by the Dozen is certainly suspect and bombarded with the stand-by cliches when keeping it all in the family.

Frank rates this film: ** stars (out of 4 stars)

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