Critic's Grade: D

I could think of a handful of different titles that would more aptly suit the Merchant Ivory turd that is "Le Divorce." How about "Les Idiots"? Or "Les Blondes Stupide"? Perhaps even "Les Miserables," although that might apply more to the audience than the movie or its dull, lifeless characters. Here is a movie so draining, so devoid of energy, and so lacking in any sort of humor or dramatic appeal that it makes you wonder what the hell they were thinking during production. The plot is your basic culture-clash romantic comedy-type fiasco that involves two American stepsisters: Roxy (Naomi Watts), who lives in Paris with a husband who has decided to leave her in the middle of her pregnancy, and Isabel (Kate Hudson), who has flown over from the states for a visit, and ends up neglecting Roxy and shacking up with Edgar (Thierry Lhermitte), the debonaire older brother of her sis's cheating hubby. Talk about a Jerry Springer special in the making.

Now anyone worth their movie salt knows that Merchant Ivory movies are not for all tastes; hell, I've never even seen one and I can attest to that. But what gets me is how commercial "Le Divorce" feels in its attempts to be subtle and quiet: it tries very hard to achieve a sturdy balance between low-key humor and high-brow examinations of the collisions of French and American cultural practices, and yet it succeeds only in burying itself beneath way too many attempts that never reach fruition. The plot is a mess, especially when it comes to that stupid painting of St. Ursula that both sides of the splitting couple keep arguing over. And despite their best efforts to provide some kind of polar-opposite subtext through the flirtatiousness of Isabel and the reserved Roxy, these characters are spellbindingly boring, and dumb (I ask you, could you sympathize with a pregnant woman who attempts suicide?). Sparkling cast and lofty production values aside, "Le Divorce" is simply le year's most boring drama.

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