Critic's Grade: D-

Frank's film tip: JOHNSON FAMILY VACATION is one family affair to forget. You'll need your own vacation after watching this crew take a cockeyed boring road trip that leads to nowhere particularly interesting

Welcome to the woefully disjointed domestic comedy that is Christopher Erskin's banal and baseless Johnson Family Vacation. Clearly an ebony knockoff that owes its tired inspired lunacy to the moderately successful National Lampoon Vacation flicks starring the gentle goofball antics of Chevy Chase and his on-screen dysfunctional brood. Suffice to say Johnson Family Vacation is a punishing and weary family farce that teeters along at a surprisingly lame and interminable pace.

One would think that with a so-called rollicking romp featuring comic cohorts Cedric the Entertainer and Steve Harvey that the mayhem in Johnson Family Vacation would be a soulful and solid outing for The Original Kings of Comedy tandem. But what Erskin helms here is a flaccid and flat vehicle that doesn't gel with the rhythm of its intended pulse. At least the handlers behind the aforementioned National Lampoon Vacation movies knew what their focus was in terms of cranking out the silly-minded fare that embraced its cornball conviction. As for the goings-on involving the Johnson Family and the rickety road trip through mediocrity, the monotonous moments are as lost and aimless as a harried nomad with amnesia.

Conversely, Johnson Family Vacation never manages to go beyond the degree of a sub-par WB slaphappy ethnic sitcom. The slapstick energy is undeniably mawkish and the outlandish encounters the Johnson clan face are met with predictability and indifference. The disposable material that makes up the core of the Johnson Family Vacation seriously handcuffs the knee-slapping talents of Cedric the Entertainer and limits the comedic cad's ability to lend some funky and frothy input regarding this staid and sporadically witty waste. Erskin, who makes his directorial debut with this perfunctory project, has no sense of style or urgency in the way he oversees the scant physical comedy bits and the lackluster timing of the recycled jokes are maddening to the eyes and ears. The movie wants to be this jubilee of giddiness but the whole makeup of this sloppy showcase is a complete jumbled mess that never finds its cohesive niche.

Nate Johnson (Cedric the Entertainer) is a Los Angeles-based insurance man who decides to pack up his bags and take his loved ones to the annual family reunion held in Missouri. Nate is the typical flustered family man that's put-upon by his spunky bunch. Accompanying the head of household on what amounts to be a three-day driving trek to the Midwest is Nate's estranged wife Dorothy (ex Miss America and singer-actress Vanessa L. Williams) and their three offspring. Son D.J. (teen rap star Bow Wow sans the "Lil" moniker) is the roguish rapper-in-waiting. Older daughter Mikki (Solange Knowles, kid sister of sultry R & B artist Beyonce) is the curvaceous cutie with a cellphone fixation. And sweetie pie Destiny (Gabby Soleil) is the impressionable tyke that fills the adorable little girl quotient sweepstakes. Together, the colorful Johnson family tries to co-exist with one another as they make their chaotic journey to the hectic family gathering that awaits their arrival.

As expected, the conflicted Nate has unfinished personal business to address pertaining to his relatives. It's bad enough that he's separated from Dorothy although she graciously accepted to be at his side for the Missouri-based Johnson festivities. However, Nate must confront other obstacles such as dealing with the fact that his mother was never really crazy about him marrying Dorothy in the first place. Also, Nate seems to have this nitpicking sibling rivalry with his competitive brother Max (Steve Harvey) and constantly worries about capturing the Best Family Award while making sure his fraternal foe doesn't outshine him in this endeavor.

Before Nate and his family can arrive at their destination, the distractions they endure along the way are arduous in terms of the recurring shaky run-ins. The Johnsons reluctantly play a road rage game of chance with a deranged trucker. There's a pit stop that is made to an Indian casino where the Johnson members hangout to collect their traveling thoughts. While back on the road, the clan decides to accommodate a hot-looking hitchhiker (Shannon Elizabeth) only to find out that this wacky babe is a french fry short of a McDonald's Happy Meal in the mental department. Then the obligatory confrontation with the law-enforcing officer (Godfrey Danchimah) adds to the staged kooky happenings as the gang desperately tries to inch their way to the frolicking function in the angst-ridden SUV.

Screenwriters Earl Richey Jones and Todd R. Jones deliver what amounts to be a throwaway concept of a raucous road trip narrative that barely registers. The script is relentlessly scattershot and never expounds upon the delectable cliched theme of taking the ultimate "vacation from hell" sentiment. Whether having the quirky characters engage in petty squabbles or getting them involved in a string of hackneyed happenstance, Johnson Family Vacation stumbles about in its shoddy attempt at hollow humor. The inert presentation of dopey domestic dysfunction never finds the entertaining target of its joyous contempt.

Cedric is futile in his mission to rise above the frivolous but flawed fray that's being distributed in awkward, badly executed fashion. It's a crying shame to see a comedian of Cedric the Entertainer's magnitude being crippled by a rusty ragtag family comedy that cripples his penchant for soliciting riotous laughs in an otherwise callow offering. The celebrated anchor that made the Barbershop films cop an attitude of hearty chuckles cannot uplift the half-hearted proceedings that are marred by Erskin's pedestrian direction. While Cedric's alter ego resorts to mugging shamelessly for the camera not to mention being the host to the misguided and manufactured craziness going on, the rest of the participants don't add too much to the uneventful setting. Williams is curiously transparent as the eye-rolling spouse and the artist formerly known as Lil Bow Wow overacts in a series of forgettable scenes that go nowhere fast.

Behind every familial farce should be some hint of a symbolic heart waiting to beat on cue. But that's the problem with Johnson Family Vacation is that its particular heart is congested with tedious amounts of nonsense. Let's just face some painful facts--this is one family affair that is literally and figuratively all over the map without one decent clue as to finding its way to Funnyville, USA.

Frank rates this film: * and a half stars (out of 4 stars)

All Reviews by Frank Ochieng
If you are the author of this review, you may edit it by signing in.