Critic's Grade: C-

Frank's film tip: Wolfgang Petersen's TROY is a glossy but stiff big screen adaptation of Homer's The Illiad. This stilted epic is as huge and wooden as the famed Trojan horse.

Filmmaker Wolfgang Petersen's ambitious epic Troy has all the right ingredients to make its case as a rousing aesthetic actioner filled with passion and powerful imagery. No doubt this glossy nostalgic war film tires to attack the senses and capture the kinetic spirit of mythological combat. Despite the showcasing of buff bodies clashing with conviction in this historic sword and sandals fable, Troy is an elaborate action-adventure yearning to sweep the moviegoer off their feet but the uneven rhythms sullies its energized scope. True, the emergence of big and brawling action-packed cinema will get film fans in the mood for an old-fashioned feeling of filmmaking that's majestic and lively in nature. But Troy spends its stylish time constructing such a brawny session of extensive battle scenes set against a polished and crisp-looking cinematography that we really have no emotional investment in the conflicted protagonists involved in the colorful carnage.

Petersen (Das Boot, The Perfect Storm), no stranger to action-oriented fare aimed toward the thinking filmgoer that appreciates their dilemma drama to be smart and savvy, serves up a grandiose narrative lined with an intriguing eye candy cast. In an attempt to produce an explosive movie meant to celebrate the costume dramas of yesteryear that invoked flair and substance, Petersen presses all the necessary buttons and conjures up an eye-popping epic that incorporates a gutsy attitude in its sensationalized skin. This is all well and good visually but the characterizations aren't flexible or complete enough to support the edge-of-your-seat mayhem that drives this massive but flawed story. Hence, some golden opportunities to plug in a few neglected dramatic holes addressing the battered psyches of the sparring protagonists are missed. Although Petersen's Troy is spry and sprawling in its given presentation, one cannot help noticing that its notable cinematic intermittent parts are as curiously wooden and stiff as the Trojan horse itself.

Troy is loosely based on Homer's Greek mythology classic composition The Illiad. It tells the interesting tale of two determined ancient soldiers and their quest to conquer the on-going struggle that binds them in an everlasting exchange of strategic warfare. Achilles (Brad Pitt) is the stoic but charismatic leader of the Greek army looking to crack into the closed off guarded walls of the city of Troy. The individual responsible for shutting off Troy from the rest of the territory is the equally obstinate and proud Prince Hector (Eric Bana from Hulk).

Apparently, the stick that broke the camel's back that led to the heated confrontation involved impetuous Prince Paris of Troy (Orlando Bloom) running off with his chosen desirable Helen (played by German actress Diana Kruger). Paris is the younger sibling of Prince Hector. Of course through our academic studies, we know that Helen of Troy is the delicious dove that possessed an exceptional face that launched a thousand ships. We also know that Helen's romantic involvement with the clueless Prince Paris launched the fury of King Melenaus of Sparta (Brendan Gleeson), infuriated hubby of the deceitful diva Helen. Thus, Helen's betrayal of King Melenaus regarding her ill-advised involvement with the foolhardy Paris would indeed ignite a bloody wrath in what appears to be a forbidden lethal love story turned ugly. If the union of Paris and Helen were intriguing and sizzling enough to warrant such an outrage then the audience could buy into the hostile build-up of the war that was suppose to rival all wars. But the sacrificial love that Prince Paris holds for Helen seems rather superficial and thinly realized in concept. Hence, basing a brewing battleground upon the connection of a couple of mismatched lovebirds almost feels inexplicably lame. Nevertheless, it's the designated spark that sets off the errant fireworks that consumed the embittered ancient Greek landscape.

Achillies, under the command of Menelaus's ruthless brother Agamemnon (Brian Cox), is summoned to maliciously carry out his orders by applying the necessary force to get the job done. The city of Troy must pay the ultimate price for the defiance and major indiscretion of its homegrown son Paris. Achillies and his thirst for gut-wrenching destruction is quite handy because his hedonistic instincts matches the twisted philosophy of the sadistic Agamemnon who's known to revel in the skin-spattering game of intense combat. Achillies has no real idea in how he is perceived in the menacing eyes of his superior Agamemnon and can care less that he impresses his blood stain-loving boss in the process. All Achillies wants to accomplish is to orchestrate an orgy of torturous tactics that will compliment his warrior-like big ego.

There's no denying that Troy has the flashy production values to make this proceeding look and feel exuberant in its frenzied execution. Director Petersen has the preferred vision to stage over-produced sequences that are saturated with pulsating vibes thanks to the tenacity of the technological tinges that accompany this busy project. Everything seems ready-made in terms of the visual appeal--from the attractive actors being featured to the spiffy set designs and custom fit wardrobes that highlight this pouncing period piece. The computer-generated armies are indeed something to marvel at as the movie does offer a hearty peek at the advanced artistry of its technical capabilities. Since we are living in an age where CGI effects in movies are as commonplace as bothersome ants in an August picnic basket, there's no concrete thrill in what Petersen does in his filmmaking flourishes. As physically stimulating as Troy purports to be in content, the mental aspect of this film has all the charge of a defective catapult.

As previously mentioned, there's no true emotional heft behind the combatants engaged in a senseless war that could have been far more compelling had it bothered to put a face of psychological angst on the perpetrators immersed in the trenches of tragedy and triumph. Instead, Petersen--who does competently present a lavish eyeball for a giddy spectacle that jumps out from the big screen--concentrates his efforts mainly on the rambunctious aura of the picture without giving much thought to the characterizations destined to live these unruly moments on screen. Vicariously, we want to see these bold and brazen players go through the truthful agony and despair but Petersen doesn't lend much substantive insight to allow this sentiment to happen with gradual persistence.

Screenwriter David Benioff at times has a script that resonates with considerable contempt that's mildly involving thanks to some snappy dialogue that's enjoyable and sophisticated in its edginess. It's too bad that the verbal exchanges aren't as heralded as much as the various glorified battle scenes that is given the overloaded exquisite treatment. There's an indescribable sheen about Troy that radiates as glowingly as the soothing Mediterranean Sea currents especially when we're given such a broad portrait of a magnetic time and era where the pageantry of a 10-year war intensified with breathtaking gusto. Again, the magnitude of Troy's vibrancy is certainly not questionable but does invite some forethought of incompleteness.

Brad Pitt pleasantly fits the physical bill of the raging 750 B.C. Greek fighter with the taste for bubbly blood with a self-important cache to match. While a majority of the viewers will probably find his portrayal of Achillies both beautifully provocative and brooding, Pitt does give some doubt as to being perceived as this well-toned surfer dude trapped in the animalistic skin of a military mastermind forging war as easily as one breathes oxygen. In comparison to what fellow fortysomething pretty boy Tom Cruise experienced with his role as yet another redemptive historical hunk in The Last Samurai, Pitt looks and acts too contemporary to be viewed upon as a convincing and credible weary warrior. The performer diligently tries to make a definitive statement regarding his self-absorbed alter ego Achillies's chaotic reputation pertaining to his selfish and savage gain. The thought of Pitt ruffling his perfect-looking blonde follicles under a restrictive Greek soldier's helmet comes off as an unintentional cheeky joke that asks the chiseled actor to disturb his prima donna appearance. There's nothing wrong with witnessing Pitt slightly altering his movie stars looks for a gritty role (witness both Fight Club and Snatch for instance). But the credibility of having him embroiled in a down and dirty war torn battle of the wits while looking like he stepped out of a Gentlemen's Quarterly campaign ad truly begs for some innocuous ridicule.

We are introduced to a series of supporting characters that seem to come and go randomly. They figure into the mix when needed but you still cannot help but wonder why they were reduced to sketchy composites within an expansive production. Among the memorable portrayals in the movie are Bana's take on Hector as the protector of his younger wayward brother Paris and the city of Troy. Bana's leader of the Trojan War definitely compliments the challenge of Pitt's Achillies doing his boisterous bidding for the cause of Greece. The very animated Peter O'Toole is on target as King Priam, father to both Hector and Paris. Also the radiant Julie Christie in on board playing Thetis, Achillies's mother. Prince Hector's wife Andromache (Saffron Burrows) and cousin Briseis (Rose Byrne) are pitted in this long-winded Greek soap opera. As Odysseus, Sean Bean is vastly suitable.

Overall, Troy can be applauded for its eager attempt to bring to the forefront the extravagant vehicle known as the modern day epic fueled with opportunistic kings and princes, antagonistic muscular army men, tempting trollops, hectic displays of brute force pulverizing the sensory mode, etc. However, the film still remains shockingly tame and trivial in all its blustery overtones. The very nature of delivering the mighty allure of Greek gods and goddesses in this heightened Hollywood package appears to be clumsy if not overzealous.

Suffice to say that the female faction will indeed soak up the sweaty Herculean he-men in Troy but too bad there wasn't more invigorating aspects that could have made this overwrought material palatable to its inspiration--the telling tale of Homer's penetrating poem.

Frank rates this film: ** stars (out of 4 stars)

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