Critic's Grade: C-

Frank's film tip: No worthy goals are set when it comes to the anemic and juvenile Will Ferrell soccer sideshow KICKING & SCREAMING

Normally, the phrase Kicking & Screaming is a considerable reactionary measure when facing the daunting task of visiting the dreaded dentist's office or in some cases being led to the electric chair. However, it also serves as the convenient movie title for another feeble-minded Will Ferrell vehicle. Granted that Ferrell has mined hearty laughs in selected gems that include the inexplicably treasured Animal House knockoff Old School, Anchorman, and the holiday hoot Elf. But in his new family farce Kicking & Screaming, Ferrell shamelessly mugs for the camera in a tepid and formulaic kiddie comedy.

Soccer-themed flicks such as the late Rodney Dangerfield's joyously mindless Ladybugs or the international hit Bend it Like Beckham had limited appeal but nevertheless rose to the occasion by capturing the giddy imagination of crossover audiences. Although Kicking & Screaming has its occasional moments of silly-minded insanity (read: a bunch of manic munchkins surrounding a flustered Ferrell), the movie feels like a poor man's updated Bad News Bears set in a different sporting setting. Bottom line: Ferrell's goofy schtick is woefully misplaced in this pseudo-irreverent family-oriented farce.

Director Jesse Dylan's (American Wedding) slacking direction reflects how pedestrian the by-the-numbers script is in flaccid fashion. The hit-or-miss comedy feels strained and gimmicky and Ferrell injects himself so haphazardly into the toothless proceedings. Hence, Kicking & Screaming is hardly the original fresh portrait of a sports-related tykes' tale. Dylan's nutty narrative had its opportunities to expand upon the frothy ridiculous notion of out-of-control adults using their regressive insecurities as a means to infiltrate something as innocuous as children's athletics. But this clownish comedy is too clueless and lacking to realize this golden off-kilter vibe.

Vitamin salesman Phil Weston (Ferrell) has always cowered in the shadow of his ultra-competitive and overbearing father (Robert Duvall). During his childhood years, Phil always resented his coaching dad's decision to bench him during the weekend soccer games. Naturally, Phil's confidence in playing the game of soccer was shaken up a bit by his dad's constant demand for athletic perfection and focus.

Now, Phil finds himself reliving this nightmarish cycle all over again. This time, however, it's watching his own son go through the same motions with his gung ho grandfather. Feeling obligated to maintain his son's dignity as well as tackle the on-going demons from his youth, Phil decides to coach a soccer team of underachievers. And the mission doesn't stop there--Phil wants his ragtag crew to take on his father's regimented and revered championship team. Can Phil boost his son's competitive spirit while rescuing his own self-doubt of abilities? Will Phil defeat his ruthless father in the ultimate match-up while hoping to gain some respect from his distant dad that never really gave him a chance to shine on the soccer field as a youngster?

Ardent Will Ferrell fans may forgive such a faceless and flimsy fable and play along in the foolish antics of this shoddy showcase. After all, it's ONLY a flighty kids' movie in the tiring tradition of the aforementioned Bad News Bears or The Mighty Ducks film series. Some will feel obligated to chuckle at Ferrell's propensity for kicking, screaming, and letting an addiction to caffeine dictate his outlandishly buffoon behavior. Still, Ferrell's funny fanatical fits wear thin and the middling material doesn't support his cockeyed angst.

The obligatory blueprint for this generic comedy is laid out in front of us like a Sunday suit on the bed. We're routinely introduced to cute, colorful and incorrigible kids, knuckle-headed grown-ups without much sense, and that cliched win-at-all-cost sentimental mentality that seems to engulf these pointless redemptive romps. From the "creative corner of stunt casting ideas" the movie winks at us playfully as it features lovable football curmudgeon Mike Ditka as Ferrell/Phil Weston's assistant coach. Ditka is always good for a healthy laugh but surprisingly he's about as stiff and useful as a goal post. And the usually dependable Robert Duvall is completely wasted as the brow-beating soccer overseer. In fact, Duvall never aspires to delivering that riveting The Great Santini persona you would expect in his so-called crazed and driven-minded coach. But then again, why bother serving a juicy T-bone steak when you're in the middle of an impromptu picnic?

The desperate pratfalls and hair-pulling tics that overcome Ferrell is not enough to convincingly kick the ball in the net for a decent score. Again, Kicking & Screaming is more than just a label to this 96-minute half-hearted juvenile playing field comedy--it's also an uneventful state of mind soaked in absolute mediocrity.

Frank rates this film: ** stars (out of 4 stars)

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