Critic's Grade: B-

What if James Dean had married Brigitte Bardot,settled in St TRopez,and made enough money to buy a Hollywood Studio.Then he would be Johnny Depp.
Depp married Vannesa Paradis,a famous French singer and actress and settled in the Riviera.
When having a meeting with Jerry BRuckheimer,Depp arranges for this to take place on his turf,Club 55 in St TRopez.Depp shows up fashionably late with a French sex symbol,his wife.He sells his name,but not his soul,for $30 million plus a percentage of the gross.
Depp was doing an obligatory interview for this movie when he was asked if he ever considered returning to live in the US.Depp replied,"You only have one life".(Read NEVER!)
Having only one life,Depp has made the smartest choices of anyone who has dealt with Hollywood.Compare him to F.Scott Fitzgerald.At a time when Fitzgerald was a famous writer, the idiot agreed to leave the Riviera and return to Hollywood where he was kept as a virtual prisoner in a barracks like office where hacks could barge in and demand that he type faster!
THe movie starts out with hanging a child.There is a 2 min cameo appearance by Keith Richards and what seemed like as short,and late,an appearance by Depp.
If Bruckheimer had taken the previous 2 Pirates of the CAribbean,thrown it in a blender,and dumped the unedited mess in your lap,it would look about the same.There is no plot.There is no continuity.There are no colors.It is all either at night or in some dark monochrome.THis is not for effect,it is because they are cheap and want to save on special effects.

All Reviews by Fred Landis
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