Critic's Grade: D

Frank's film tip: Zac Ephron isn't the only one that's experiencing a tough back-to-school transformation in the shoddy and shallow fantasy teen comedy 17 AGAIN

It must have taken the powers-that-be a brief 20-minute lunch session over a stale roast beef sandwich to conceive this woefully derivative teen comedy 17 Again. For the sake of argument one cannot blame the handlers of this flaccid fable to see dollar signs dancing in their collective heads. First, why not milk the “body swap” gimmick for the ten millionth time? Hey, it worked for squeaky-clean comedies such as Freak Friday, right? Secondly, why not cash in on the teenybopper craze that is the Disney-esque dreamboat of the moment in High School Musical heartthrob Zac Ephron? After all, the Disney Channel machine has propelled such profitable marketing products as current Disney-bred adolescent alums Miley (“Hannah Montana”) Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers so why not tap into the fervent following of chick magnet Ephron?

Regardless of the lazy-minded concoction behind the conceptual fluff that is 17 Again Ephron fans will eat this transparent tale up like a desperate starving man searching for leftovers in a Chinese food restaurant trash bin. As one can imagine, 17 Again is needlessly aching in its familiarity from the adult-to-teen premise and the paper-thin laughs only convey what a meager and meandering teen comedy this dim-witted ditty really is at heart. While uniquely disposable 17 Again does contain some legit chuckles—mainly from supporting player Thomas Lennon that effortlessly steals the show as the wise-cracking best bud of Ephron’s protagonist. Quite frankly that’s not saying much in a tedious teen vehicle where there’s not that much to steal—one might refer to this as petty larceny in legal terms.

Amazingly, writer-director Burr Steers oversees this relentlessly stilted juvenile laugher with pedestrian direction and no sense of imaginative flair or distinctive comic timing. Steers was responsible for the brilliant yet under-appreciated 2000 coming-of-age story Igby Goes Down so it is kind of bewildering why he would put his stamp of approval on this painful formulaic flick that bows down to the popularity of pre-teen prince Ephron? In all fairness, pop culture pretty boy Ephron is likable and tries to handle this middling material with the best of his self-deprecating strides but the movie’s involvement in predictable slapstick and recycled jokes undercuts his jocular efforts.

High school basketball sensation Mike O’Donnell had it made at age seventeen during his secondary schooling years. However, he did the unspeakable—he impregnated his girlfriend thus throwing away a promising future for the life as a very young family man. Now twenty years later, 37-year old Mike (Matthew Perry) is bogged down with an uneventful existence that includes his stagnant marriage to Scarlet (Leslie Mann) and the constant insolence coming from his teenaged kids. On top of that scenario, Mike is suffering professionally at work as he considers his career notoriously stillborn. If only Mike O’Donnell can do it all over again and go back to the glory days of high school and have that one shot at doing things the way it was meant to be? How rewarding would that be to escape his current malaise?

Through some far-fetched magical transformation the disenfranchised middle-aged Mike gets his “do-over” wish and becomes conveniently the “younger” version (Ephron) of the celebrated high schooler he was in the past before becoming an accidental Daddy Dearest. Basically, Ephron’s Mike is as harried as ever as the late thirtysomething trapped in a contemporary teenaged body of a 17-year old in 2009. Unfortunately, high school life from Mike’s heyday in 1989 doesn’t quite gel with today’s trends and anxieties. In a gimmicky twist, Mike becomes the schoolmate of his own kids (Michelle Trachtenberg and Sterling Knight) and watches out for their growing pains interest while fighting his obvious attraction for a grown-up Scarlet in the process.

The nonsensical goings-on in 17 Again uneventfully will invite every cliched footnote imaginable. See Mike deal with the teen pressures nowadays while combating his own fish-out-of-water clumsiness. See Mike have an out-of-style bad hair day. See Mike try to capture his basketball prowess on the court during the big game. See Mike consult his geeky billionaire best buddy Ned (Thomas Lennon, “I Love You, Man”) for some off-kilter advice. See young Mike experience some “wannabe cougar action” with estranged wife Scarlet. See Mike get ranked on by acid-tongued cheerleaders. Step by step, 17 Again drags on tiredly like a loose muffler under your Aunt Gertrude’s decrepit minivan.

From the aforementioned Freaky Friday movies to other copycats such as Like Father Like Son, Vice Versa and the surprisingly enjoyable 13 Going On 30, the watered-down high jinks in 17 Again is excruciatingly dormant as compared to the blueprints just mentioned. The whimsical Perry-to-Ephron physical exchange feels so inconsequential. Everything explored in 17 Again has been done to death and ten times better to boot. Perry, usually a riotous element in otherwise forgettable farces that he has been involved in over the years, registers with all the impact of a cigarette butt in a lonely ashtray. Ephron will probably be excused for his strained participation in this bubble-headed dud. Remarkably, his avid ‘tween hangers-on would blindly pay to watch him read a fortune cookie. As the estranged Scarlet, Mann isn’t given much to do at all.

Whatever it takes to turn back the hands of time, the misfire 17 Again will never be soundly appetizing unless one morphs into a 13 year-old freckled face gal with a serious Troy Bolton fixation.

Frank rates this film: * 1/2 stars (out of 4 stars)

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